Warning. The following publications may induce intense reasoning.

Monday, April 19, 2021

When Am I Getting A Comment

A message or comment directed at you, yes You, is a very gratifying event. Eyes light up, the interest spikes. It's a minor accomplishment to get another person of interest to say something back to you.

This is not true of our day to day interactions. It seems to be a given to have another person respond. "Excuse me, what time is it?" Simple! But getting a mail response, a written letter, feels as if another person made a grand decision to pay attention to you. A reply to a post is much easier to conjure, but still dings well in the notifications tab!

But what if the attraction is turned into a trick? A distraction? A tool that makes you, yes You, anticipate the next message. The next comment. The next email! A tingling of anxiety creeps onwards. Anger at the lack of interaction. We are humans! We interact! No one would just silently ignore you face to face, right?

That is not a healthy relationship. Communication is a simple, fluid, friendly type of activity. It is not painful. There is no reason to delay and drag on conversations. And those who do not reciprocate end up without much to tell anyways.

Spend that energy on those who spend it back. Equal and prosperous relationships. 

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Conclusions of a Life Online

As I transition into the next phase of my life, I would like to share some conclusions. Most, from my life in webcam chatrooms.

A few years back, wanting a website in my name, I thought a blog would be a good way of expressing my mind - my self. I knew it was kind of old fashioned, even back then, but saw no other way to suit my taste. I mixed up YouTube videos with my posts, my own narration, and all in all it was nice.

A few months back, as evident by my lack of posting schedule, I stopped. And instead, I'm now posting Tweets, on Twitter! Hardly the same, but the format is attractive; an easier connection to people. And it does not feel censored as much as Facebook.

My Twitter is on the right, if you are curious. Follow me.

Sometimes it's quiet, and sometimes there are lots of people.

I have moderated and run webcam chatrooms for several years, now. I have seen an endless stream of random men, of all creeds, showing unwelcome penises. I have seen a percentage, albeit much lower, of random women showing vaginas and-or breasts. Both sexes would play with them, until banning - for transgression against the website rules, which do not allow nudity.

I have met & suffered many psychopaths that would harass myself, or others, on a semi-regular basis. Spam messages, threats, information leaking, and anything imaginable that would bother a person. Luckily, I live in a non-English speaking country, where most botherers can't reach me. My attentiveness and chat-robot making skills defend me well.

Through the years, I have "hosted" many guests in my chatrooms. Some for short periods, some for long - even years, even long years. None were as steady as me, outside of my own several month vacation, of recent. Even those I had trusted further, and had the impression that they would stick around, eventually left; for a variety of reasons, from work, school, to the girlfriend getting jealous.

As a dedicated and caring person, who prefers to remain excited & positive in my daily life, I have had many disappointments. I get used to it, but it is never easy. It did, however, teach me about patience, the value of my efforts, and about people. What types of people are out there. Their motivations. How I am seen by others. And what I should expect.

All in all, a lot of great experiences, a varying level of friendships - some of whom I have met offline, and excellent lessons and growth on my part.

Friday, November 11, 2016

Vaporware Is A E S T H E T I C 4 1 1 Y Amusing

I got inspired from vaporwave memes, to make this tiny script. It is 6MB, it is clean - no virus or malware or anything. I programmed it myself, using Python, and then compiled it. CLEAN. Also, Google Drive automatically scans files for viruses under 20mb.

Trump 2016, since 1999.

Windows 95, since 1999.

Enjoy & share. 

Friday, September 30, 2016

My Foot!

Listen to this blogcast in MP3 Audio.

I just came back to Israel, from about four months of travel, vagabonding mostly in Canada, and a bit in Western Europe. I have never been to Canada before, so I thought it a suitable destination. Maybe I would find a home there. Or company. Or interest. Anything.

I seriously love my "FeelTheWorld" Z-Trek sandals! It's almost like walking barefoot.
(Painful, for the novitiate!)

As always, I wanted to test my idea[l]s hardcore, so I went out with no sleeping bag, no tent, "FeelTheWorld" sandals with thin flexible soles, and an uncomfortable small backpack. After a couple of weeks, I spent almost every night outside. Eventually, not finding feather-down pants, I did buy a sleeping bag. Nights were cold, too often. But, I never gave up on my feet!

*sigh* Refreshing. Fishies nibbling at my legs. :3

My first days outside, walking cheerfully for endless hours, every day, taught me the difference between daily fitness walks and actual walking. My feet were sore, bleeding, slowly callusing, and quickly became unusable. I walked for a few days, then had a few days rest, in a hostel.

Eventually however, my feet did get used to days of walking. Marches. With carried weight. The calluses healed, the pain faded - or my endurance lasted longer hours, and I got tougher. The most primal, basic function of a Human, or any land-loving animal, was gained! I could walk freely, almost anywhere. [Walking long stretches on stones, like big pebbles, was too difficult and highly painful - but I am sure I will get used to it.]

Resting and cleaning, in the morning, next to a small waterfall in the valley.

Another issue I had was exposure to the elements; sun, wind, temperature, bugs, people, noise, dangers. Mostly the sun and wind, though. My body was not used to being exposed for whole days and long weeks! It gave me fatigue and irritation, sometimes bordering on distress. Again, with time I did get used to it, more so than before; although I still sought out shade and wind-blocks.

These issues, and my growing mastery of them, got me to consider roleplaying and virtual games. They do not expose us to the elements. Walking a virtual world is easy and boring. Walking the Earth is difficult and challenging, at the best of times. To walk some places is nigh impossible! Try walking through bush, a thick forest with thorny vines, or a stretch of thorns. Not to mention most places are not level. Climbing does feel!

The library's carpet, in North London, sure was agreeable! :D

So, in conclusion, at least one of the lessons I learned from this trip - do not be afraid of your environment. Get used to it. Feel comfortable in it, as much as possible. Life is not only about feeling comfortable in your own skin; it's also about feeling comfortable in your own space.

And virtual games could learn the lesson, too. Somehow.

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