The Tease

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People can tease the basic needs in others, and create a strong emotional pressure. Often, with little effort.

Underneath the intricate thinking and reasoning of the Human mind, there is an impulse-driven mechanism that demands obedience. We get tired and fall asleep, we get hungry and eat, and we get horny and lust.

Yes, please don't tease, if you won't please.

I have recently had two instances of girls teasing me, either to enjoy my company, or to use me for their own personal interest.

The first appeared friendly enough. I liked her vibe, and decided to send her a personal message. We started talking, sharing a bit about ourselfs. However, she would also regularly tease me, and others, saying things like, "hey baby," and, "I love you," along with other catch-phrases and cutsie poses. When I asked to get more personal, she declined, saying she is not interested in "an online relationship", or mixing that chat with her personal life.

Not surprisingly, I later learned, from noticing her behavior and asking questions, that the reasons she gave me were lies - and did not actually apply to everyone. She did indeed become more intimate with other guys from the chat. And that she has a record of guys "just falling for her, for no reason." Yeah...

The second girl was also nice enough, at first. I actually did not have much interest in her, until she asked me to see if I can find more information about her online; to see how vulnerable she is to hackers. This, being quite a task, hinted to me that she is interested in me finding her out. Like a game. So, I did, and later on I found her Skype, and we got talking.

It was soon after that she asked me another such favor, to do some employer's long online quiz, to see how her results compared to mine. I thought to myself that such a personal and tedious request could only show very personal interest in me; although I did make a deal with her, that if I did it, then she would send me a gift by post. :-D

And yet again, when I asked to clarify out relationship, she insisted that it is nothing but being friends. I pointed out her unusual requests, and she appeared surprised that I saw things that way. She apologized... only to continue teasing, making requests, and eventually lie about me to a friend, and put me in a bad light. Yeah...

A tease will display sexuality, and cause a yearning lust in potential mates. This yearning makes others become increasingly interested in the tease, wanting to make a good impression.

At this point you might think, "What's so wrong with that?", or, "Are you calling me a slut?"

A tease and a slut are two different things. A slut actually follows through on his or her teasing! A tease however, while being sexually explicit, and even friendly and intimate, will never gratify those sexual needs.

And that is why a tease is so much worse! You might hate a slut for "using" you, sexually, but you will not feel the emotional compulsion that teasing brings. A slut will be straightforward, and let you off. A tease will continue, even after clarifying that you will not be getting anything!... Anything but emotional abuse, that is.

You will continue to suffer the oppression of strong feelings and interest towards a person that does not feel the same. Often, they will not even care about you, other than as entertainment. And they do so, the tease, because it is a tool that lets them force you, manipulate you into "liking them", or rather, giving them the attention they want.

If you are reading this, realizing that you do tease others, then stop that!

It is inconsiderate to manipulate other people's feelings, if you actually want to be friends with them. Friends let their friends choose; they do not put emotional pressure - guilt, tease, shame, and so on - on them, for personal benefit. Only tease when you are actually willing to commit, and follow through sexually. Be honest.

And if you are a victim of sexual manipulation - by a tease, then get the fuck away from that person. Right now!

Sadly, there is no way to stop feeling. We are designed to feel, and respond to attractions. Even if you can withhold yourself, it takes effort, and eventually drains on your emotional reserve. It is just not worth it.

I once heard the wise phrase, "Do not play a losing game." You have nothing to gain from tolerating a tease, just as you have nothing to gain from tolerating any other form of abuse. A tease is not your friend. If they were, they would have cared and been considerate enough to avoid triggering you emotionally, on a regular basis, in a way that does not match their own intentions.

Keep your eyes open, and do not hesitate to catch a tease in action, and tell them off!

What Is Love?

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Love is when you're good
To yourself
To a friend
To your girl or guy
To the stranger who's alive
Or the stranger that'll die

It's a gesture, a hint
A word or a smile
It's something that you give
And you give it for a while
Because you really want to
And not because you're told
Love is when you're good
Even when it's old

A kid thinks love
Is nothing but a sham
A sexy misdirection
To get out of a jam
But loving isn't one thing
Not sex, cash, nor a pic
Love is when you're doing
Not always knowing what it means

And if you've ever wondered
Am I really loving this?
Then you must be smarter
To know something's amiss
In life it ain't just one thing
It's a myriad of thing
Love is when you're good
And being good is everything.

Is Virtual Not Real?

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Virtual reality, maybe an ironically coined term, is meaningful to me. However, is it not akin to a dream, detached from reality; nothing but quickly fading imagery.

Anime is both virtual and awesome!

Dreams are an interesting lot. They do not affect me physically, directly, but they do affect me emotionally. Also, they reflect my own thoughts back at me, which can make me change my mind, and so my choices in real life.

The virtual world, also known as the internet, is like a phone call. It is real people, in a real conversation, only physically removed. Even though we now also enjoy face-to-face video chat.

And phone calls matter! We take very seriously conversations, even if they are not done in proximity. A letter can change the world. It had, many times before, when country leaders, warlords, scientists, and businessmen made choices according to remote conversations.

So, I am thinking that even if it is virtual, and even if it lacks touch... who cares. Not every activity has to include all of our senses, to be meaningful. Plenty of physical activities, from frisbee to sex, can be without speech, yet be as meaningful as a good conversation.

It only takes an acceptable level of interaction, to be satisfying. And I say, each to their own needs.

Try The Amish

I would like to take this opportunity, and try to learn from the Amish, about social organization and human nature.

The Amish Endurance!

I find it interesting that small communities can have very specific rules, but still be enjoyable to their members. Even now, people choose to enter (and leave) the Amish communities, and other such similar close-knit and strict groups, around the world. Is it possible that the best way for people to organize is in an array of different strict small communities?

The idea that we should all have almost no social rules in our free lives, and that we should all live together in great cities, might not be the best direction for us. Since the dawn of time, people have lived in small and very organized communities. Occasionally, some would change communities and move about. Often, it was due to a marriage or a great need, but sometimes even due to disagreements and conflict.

I wonder if in a truly free world, would people just return to this most basic and simple method? Small groups with very strict local rules that immigrate and exchange with other such-like groups, in other places.

What do you think?