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Monday, March 14, 2016

Romantic Relationship Q&A

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Q&A stands for questions and answers. You ask questions, expecting answers. Same goes for the other side, with you being the one to answer.

Dedicated to all the trolls.

In an intimate relationship, trust is everything. I have recently found myself going through some breakup posts on Facebook, from guys who were deeply betrayed by their female partners. Obviously, both genders can betray the other, but for myself I find it easier to relate to the guys' experiences.

The horror stories are real! Long lasting relationships of years, ending in a quick betrayal; the girl leaving with another guy. Or the girl being caught with another guy. Or even the girl revealing that she is cheating; sometimes for a long period. The guys are devastated, being forced out of their illusion of a loving couple.

I have come to notice that people tend to expect others to be as they are, themselves. Doing so, they assume that if they feel attached and in-love, so is the other person. To add to the illusion, most are unwilling to explicitly and clearly establish the truth.

However, from my own experience and that of others as keen about the truth as I am, there is a method that prevents a false relationship from, at the least, catching. By asking questions, and insisting on detailed answers, we can avoid these illusions. The answers reveal if the other person is a good person, fitting for you. Vague answers or evasions will reveal the other person to be untrustworthy.

Even when emotions are strong, and you might feel love and loving, by insisting on revealing the truth about yourself and the other person, you will slowly make it impossible to continue - without either fixing the apparent problems, or breaking up entirely.

And it should be done from day one. No excuses. A relationship is trust, and trust requires honesty and truth. Therefor the truth is the relationship, and without it there is only a charade of emotions and needs.

Hopefully, instead of wasting months or years, getting tremendously hurt and hurting another, it will end quickly. In my own experience, within the first week there will be a tendency to want to cut away from the other person - if it's bad. Then, even if you go back together, it will not be more than a couple of weeks, until the truth simply does not let you persist.

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